Note: This testimony was shared by Denise McEwen at the
May 6, 2003 Fund-raising Banquet. The ABC Women’s Center is grateful to Denise
for having the courage to share her story with us.
Hello and thank you for welcoming me to speak with you this evening. I would
like to start out by telling the reason why I am standing here before you now,
beginning with the events of 1991.
I will try to be as brief as possible as I only have a few minutes.
After my sixteenth birthday, and having lived on my own for almost two years,
I was emancipated by the Middlesex County Juvenile Justice System. I lived in a
variety of places, including the woods, cars, shelters, and at times with my
friends.
Once my emancipation papers were put in my hands, I was faced with a whole
world of opportunities and important decisions. Keeping all this in mind I knew
the one thing I wanted most of all was to get away from the place that held so
many painful memories for me.
I had an acquaintance who was originally from Orogrande, New Mexico. He would
be leaving Connecticut and returning home. He asked if I wanted to go with him
as knew I wanted to leave Connecticut. He described a place with breath taking
views, never ending sunsets, and a sky never obscured so much as a tree. He told
me the night sky looked like diamonds on black velvet and all the educational
and job opportunities are comparable to CT. After several lengthy conversations,
I agreed to go and left one week after my emancipation.
My arrival was exciting; a new place, new people and yes, the scenery was
breath taking. The opportunities remained to be seen as I ended up taking a job
at a local restaurant that catered to truck drivers and military personnel. I
believed my life was “normalizing” in some small way, however,
I was becoming terribly lonely as my daily schedule was a never ending cycle
of work, work and more work. Due to hostility in my new home‘s environment, I
went to live with another waitress from the restaurant. She could see that I was
becoming depressed and encouraged me to go out, to see things and do things.
One morning I couldn’t take it anymore. I phoned my lawyer, who helped me get
my emancipation. I had no one else to turn to. My attorney and his wife , out of
the kindness of their hearts, told me to come back to Connecticut, and stay with
them. They purchased my plane ticket, and with that, I cried that whole day, out
of joy to return, and out of sadness, as New Mexico had become my home.
Since my plane was to board from El Paso, Texas, 50 miles South of where I
was staying, my roommate brought me to stay at her son‘s house for the night. My
flight was leaving 6 A.M. and he lived only 2 miles from the airport.
Needless to say, her son and I got along great. We ended up talking into the
night and at one point he offered me a beer. I took it to oblige him, so as not
to seem rude or immature, as I was 16 years old, and I thought mature for my
age.
The evening wore on and I felt like I wasn’t so alone. He said things that
made me feel good about myself and as if I was interesting to someone. I ended
up sleeping with him, thinking no harm could come since I wouldn’t never see him
again. I was feeling so alive and special.
The next morning I boarded the plane to head back to Connecticut, to a new
life, full of potential. At least this was my hope.
Once back in Connecticut, I started a program called JOY and attended classes
at Middlesex Community College. My life was finally going in a positive
direction, until about 3 months later; I was terribly ill. I thought I had the
flu and went to see a doctor. That was when I found out I was pregnant.
The decision was not up for debate. My attorney and his wife had already made
phone calls to schedule my abortion. I lay in bed weeping about my terribly
selfish decisions (choices I had made that contributed to my situation ). I
placed my arms across my stomach as I apologized to the life inside of me, soon
to be destroyed.
One week prior to my abortion, I went to the doctor’s office for final blood
work and a check up. While waiting to see the doctor, I met a girl in the
waiting room. She congratulated me and asked when my baby was due. I told her I
was having and abortion and she apologized for asking. I told her it was okay
and that was when she told me about a place on Washington Street in Middletown,
called the ABC Women’s Center. She said that they may be able to help me with
any decisions I was going to make. I told her I would think about it, and she
said I seemed apprehensive about what I was planning to do, and that I should
seek advice or at the very least another option. All through my visit with the
doctor I thought about the ABC Women’s Center.
I approached the Center slowly and apprehensively. I didn’t know what to
expect. I had no idea as to what their opinion of me would be and if they would
look down on me for being so young. Would they want me to get an abortion too? I
did not know.
To my surprise I was greeted with warm inviting smiles and in an
understanding tone. I explained my situation, and told them I was going to have
an abortion, because the people around me wanted me to, that I was confused and
felt stuck with no options besides compliance, in going along with the abortion.
One of the ladies handed me several pamphlets, one of which had a picture of
a 12 week old fetus that had been aborted. It lay motionless, next to a ruler,
still inside its protective sack. I was mortified upon seeing this shocking
picture as I was about 12 weeks pregnant already myself.
I continued to speak with the volunteers at the center. They asked if I would
like to pray with them for guidance concerning my decision and situation. I am
not a religious person, but figured if anyone could help me with my plight,
whether in human or spiritual form, I would accept it.
We prayed in a small group and I left to go home. That night before I went to
bed, I found myself on my knees, something I rarely ever did. I prayed to God to
help me find the strength to make the right decision.
The next morning things seemed clearer to me. My mind was made up. I would
keep the baby and accept responsibility for my actions, while providing the best
life I could possible give this child. The ABC Women’s Center helped me with
clothing, advice, and finding available programs that could help me.
On September 8th 1991, my son David Joseph was born. He was so
beautiful that my heart felt sick at what could have been. This little tiny baby
provided many challenges, but I was determined to accept them and to do a great
job in loving him, nurturing him and raising him. Today my son is excelling
academically, socially, morally and to the surprise of most, spiritually.
In closing I want to tell you all that my son would not be here today, and I
would have inevitably self destructed had I not visited the ABC Women’s Center.
To God and to the ABC Women’s Center I am thankful.
Thank you all for letting me tell you my story, as this is truly a case of
divine intervention, with the ABC Women’s Center the mediator.
Thank you,
Denise
To read this from Denise's son's perspective, see
David's Story.
